KONY 2012 and 100 Clicks

Well first of all I'd like to thank all of my non-existent readers for this blog reaching the 100 views mark.  I say views because I suspect none of you at all are actually reading the bloody thing.   In fact I'm sure of it.  A non-existent reader is currently crying "Why James? Why do you doubt me?  I exist! I'm here!".  I'll tell you why ladies and gentlemen of the imaginary kind.  A little while back I took it upon myself to tell a little story of my day when I happened across a pair of ladies underwear that said 'I Love Primark' on them.  Before this blog I got maybe one view a week if I was lucky.  The day I posted that blog I had nearly 20 views.  Even when it tailed off I'm still getting between 2 and 5 a day at least.

It doesn't take a genius to work out what's going on here.  Ever since that blog got posted I've been having clicks from men on search engines with a hard on for ladies underwear of the Primark variety.  Thank God for weird Primark fetishes is all I can say.

Now let's move on to this KONY business.

KONY was a bit shocked when he found out the
'I Love Primark Underwear' post was just a blog by me.

KONY... bad man... steals children... makes children shoot other children... terrorised half of Uganda.

Yes KONY should be hunted down and be left at the mercy of all the families he's torn apart with his 'tactics'.

imaginary reader:      Is that it?
Me:                         Yeah that's it, why?
imaginary reader:      Just saying, you normally look at all sides of these things
Me:                         Well I have and while I have some off the wall views, the same conclusion still                              
                               prevailed.
imaginary reader:     Well bloody tell me then, I'm interested
Me:                          Yeah but you don't exist
imaginary reader:     That's never stopped you before James, come on you know you want to
Me:                         Do you know what? When you're right you're right, and bloody Hell you're right

It started off with some of my Facebook friends saying how bad a man this KONY character is.  'Who's KONY?', I wondered briefly.  'Ah it must be some shitty rave musician who got his cock stuck in someone's unwilling vagina or something, nothing to invest your time in'.


A week later I saw the video (on the right), I spent the half hour being sucked into this film trying to find the cracks in the information (I do that when I watch anything that looks factual without Richard Attenborough, Brian Cox or Steven Fry in it).  No offence Americans but you are easily sucked in by anything.  I watched this video on a news website where Uganda's politicians stress that it paints an inaccurate picture of what is going on there.  They agreed that KONY is scum but stress that his actions are limited outside Uganda (because they have him on the run), so sending in half the army will only make things worse over there.  He's actually in hiding.  The film does mention this bit of information but if you blink you miss it.  There are no Ugandan opinions either on the film except the one from the kid that was 'freed' by the maker of this film.  What a fucking hero saving that kid when he already escaped!  All of the pundits and politicians who were interviewed in this film weren't from Uganda. Hmmmmm.

With that in mind I had to question the integrity of this film.  I could go into this at length but plenty of people have already done it before me, just look to the left for one of the many examples.  This one has the American desire to control oil at the heart of it.  There are various news reports also that question the integrity of this film.  To tell you the truth they're able to articulate it better than I can. Yes pretty much everything in this film either has a different side of the story, or can be picked apart.  I'll make a list of links for some of the news reports at the bottom here.  I'm not sure about the American Governments oil motive but it sure is a very good possibility.  Like I said the KONY 2012 video is incredibly convincing.  I was sucked in myself until it asked me for money.  "Give us money to line our pockets to stop KONY and bring him to justice".  Well that makes sense to me anyway, how about you?  Or it would make sense if you never stopped to think 'How in under all that is holy does giving these guys money so they can have the perfect life and big house (that you see in the film by the way) help track KONY down?  That wont help track him down.  Giving the authorities money to fund the effort might help matters somewhat, but giving it to Invisible Children will only help pay off the gigantic mortgage Jason Russel must have to go along with the gigantic and very upmarket house he has.

One thing can't be picked apart though.  Regardless of how the film is presented you can't deny KONY's past and what he is, a very bad man indeed.  However he is taken down, I just hope he is.  KONY! You're a bad man, a very bad, naughty man. Do everybody a favour KONY, shoot yourself.

And now for something related but completely different.

The narrator of the invisible children video Jason Russell was caught interfering with traffic without any clothes on, having a wank and screaming at anything that moved.  Oh God I'm laughing really hard right now!

Or I would be laughing that is if the guy sitting beside me in the library would stop singing Kylie Minogue songs at the top of his voice.  Seriously, stop it.  I'm not kidding around here.  Okay that's it, I'm giving Jason Russell a call!  If the man can put a stop to KONY, then he can put a stop to you.  I'll unleash his naked, self interfering ass on you man!.  YEAH YOU BETTER RUN!


HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA AH HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA


Here are those links

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uct3dyDVgts&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41BpTW53sWY&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b3ccdQrdhiU&feature=related

The Right to Die and Having no Right to Take a Life

Ooh here I go again writing about things I know nothing about.  A couple things have caught my attention in the news this week.  Some nutjob US soldier appeared to have lost the plot and went on a bloody rampage killing women and kids in their homes, the other is Tony Nicklinson who has 'Locked in Syndrome' fighting for the right to die.


I'll start with the latter here just to get it out of the way.  I'm trying to be very careful about what I say here as this is a subject of intense controversy where there are incredibly strong views on either side about the morality of taking your own life. The other reason I want to get this out of the way is that I never know which side to take here.  Do I join the 'life is a gift' side of things and say that under no circumstances a life should be ended? Or do I take the view that there is a point where your quality of life is so bad you're better off dead?


To get it out of the way as quickly as possible I'm concentrating on the case of Tony Nicklinson.  As I said before he has a condition called 'Locked in Syndrome'.  Simply put this is where you're brain is completely alert and fully functioning but the rest of your body doesn't work at all.  (Just think Stephen Hawking and you have the idea).  In fact to look at it's exactly like Stephen Hawking complete with a computer that speaks for him and everything.  This is where I first thought 'Why does he want to die?  Stephen Hawking is fine with his condition while also being determined to be a leading theoretical physicist and cosmologist.


For some hours I couldn't side with Tony Nicklinson due to this.  I'm not saying they have the same condition, but I imagine it feels awfully the same as each other.  For a few hours I was siding with keeping him alive, but then I found out about the difference between Tony Nicklinson's vocation and Stephen Hawkings.  Stephen Hawking uses his mind.  His mind to me seems totally dedicated to thinking and working on 'theoretical' physics.  While his job is more difficult without the use of his body, he doesn't 'need' it.  Tony Niclklinson on the other hand had a vocation (I don't know exactly what it is but the news mentioned this) that required the use of his body, and not just that, his hobby was sports (there was a photo of him playing rugby).  His talents lay in his body, so to take all of that away from him would of course prompt him to take the action he is taking.  With that information you would side with Tony for this.


I still however can't form an opinion on this.  I'm fairly fit and fully functioning so there's no way I can possibly put myself in either of their shoes.  I have no idea what I would want to do if I was in Tony Nicklinson's shoes. I'd like to think I'd want to soldier on but there's no way of telling unless I came down with the exact same condition.  So I'll leave it to the all but non existent readers to leave comments with their personal opinion on this one.


I'd hate to be the Judge on that court case.


Now here comes the part where I talk about the 'mental breakdown' that cost well over a dozen lives in Afghanistan.  I'll get right to the chase here because I don't normally talk about more than one thing in these blogs.  When  I first heard about this, the only the information I had about this is that at least one American soldier busted into several peoples homes and killed all of them.  My first thought was 'this is like that event in my home town 'Bloody Sunday' roughly 40 years ago.  It turns out that it was indeed just the one soldier who acted out of what I can only assume was incredible stress.  This is no excuse of course.

The following is from my personal observations in my own home country.  If you add any foreign military presence to a country, it's residents wont appreciate it.  No matter what your reasons for your army to be in their country is, the indigenous population will want them back out of the country as soon as possible.  So to add atrocities such as this will make the Afghanistan people so angry it will only make their presence even worse.  At least in this case an apology was issued in a matter of days as opposed to decades as was the case in Bloody Sunday.  At least the man who went beserk on a bunch of women and children looks like being brought to justice in the near future instead of it looking like it will never happen as is the case of Bloody Sunday.  For once they seem like they are apologetic as opposed to being the bullies the world perceives them to be.

That being said many innocent people, mostly women and children were slaughtered recently and there is no way it can possibly be defended.  I realise I sound like I'm in a game of dick measuring from my previous paragraph but that is not in any way my intention at all.  I offer my condolences to the families of the dead and I know what you must be feeling right now.  This is the worst possible thing that could possibly happen to a family. In fact it's the most horrific thing I can imagine to have happen to you.  


So to sign off I'll say, 'Shame on you, you who break into peoples homes and slaughter them as if they were animals.  You who cause the heartbreak of so many people due to this.  You killed those who must have had to watch their entire family violently end their lives before theirs were ended too.  You make me sick to the core.  I hope you die too. In fact I hope you die with the same methods your country do to perpetrators of homocide in your own country, failing that I hope you die of AIDS or something.


J


PS.  Sorry about the CSPAN video i posted, I tried to get something that got to the point but that's the best I could find at short notice.

The Sunday Sun Has Me Stumped

Well non existent readers, It's been two whole weeks and i STILL haven't thought of anything to say at all about the SUNDAY SUN NEWSPAPER.  I don't understand it.  It was an open goal.  Rupert (cockstain) Murdoch and News (spy) International have released a Sunday newspaper to replace the disgraced News of the World.  They promise it's going to be different from the News of the World regarding it's code of ethics, hmm.  You know I'd believe that except for the small matter of the original News of the World staff are being reinstated to work on this new Sunday newspaper, prompting me to divert your attention to the New Statesmen image right.

The Martians must have smelled the shit from there when Mr. Murdoch looked at us all in the eye, and proceeded to open his mouth and do what my new dog did yesterday to the kitchen floor with the other end of his body.  While Murdoch's lackies were wiping his mouth with Kittensoft all I could think to myself was "Ooh yes, they're gonna get it, when Sunday comes I'm gonna buy that bloody newspaper (even though the act of doing so will make my soul die just a little bit more) I'm gonna read it and then I'm gonna rip into it like a Geordie in an Amsterdam brothel.

However Sunday passed and I couldn't bring myself to buy the newspaper.  I stood in the newsagents  looking at the red banner at the top that read 'The Sunday Sunday'.  I couldn't get past the front page.  I hadn't even read any of the stories or the gossip and I was already being lied to.  "This isn't the bloody Sun, THIS IS THE NEWS OF THE WORLD PRETENDING TO BE THE SUN!"  So instead of a newspaper I purchased a beverage and left without my ammunition.

I resolved henceforth to buy the following weeks Sun, "Yeah that's a good idea" I said to myself, "The first edition would almost certainly contain nothing except a bunch of self glorification at being launched etc. etc. etc.  The second issue would be a much better option, as that would be more like a normal issue so I can write an accurate blog.  So there I was the night previously, a Saturday night and Kate(Jordan) Price's mug flashes up on my TV screen. 

        "Hey there you viewer, Katie Price is a big shot columnist for the Sunday Sun, Wow!!! I bet you other newspapers are jealous now aren't you.  wow!! this is amazing" screamed my television.

What I thought was amazing was the information that Katie Price might be able to spell.   It was amazing that Jordan was aware of the tabloids existing for some other reason than to print out pictures of her tits.  Then Roy Keane comes on the bloody screen doesn't he?  All arms folded and acting the hard man.  "Well that's it there's no way I can buy the paper tomorrow now!"  I'm a Liverpool fan you see, and as a Liverpool fan I shouldn't be buying the Sun anyway.  I don't buy the Sun, it would have just been this one time for the purpose of the blog.  But here's Roy Keane and Jordan staring down at me through a black mirror telling me to buy the Sun.  "No I bloody wont" said I "as a Liverpool fan and a fan of human evolution in general, I will not buy a copy of tomorrow's Sun." 

Thank you Roy, Thank you Katie, for making my decision to attack this newspaper with insults instead of carefully put together critisisms.  It's more fun this way.  Thank you again you rubber chested and pin dicked couple you.  Thank you

In other news Mary Byrne finished her run as the Teen Angel from 'Grease' In the Millenium Forum.  It seems the next leg of the tour is in Skegness as she was spotted arriving in by sea yesterday.

PS.
Roy and Katie, just becasue I referred to you as a couple earlier, please don't take that as a suggestion.  The world doesn't want you two to breed, please have at least that much respect for humanity.