First however I'll get to the upcoming TV show "Superstar". I swore to myself I'd never participate in one of these shows. Yet on Tuesday I was on a bus on my way to Belfast with my guitar in hand considering what I was going to sing in front of the judge just because I fancied doing this musical. I never had any intention of using the guitar as part of the audition you must understand. The presence of the guitar was for funding the public transportation by way of busking in order to get to this audition. Upon arriving I discovered all of my suspicions about these contests were correct. Very little of what happens on the TV is actually what is happening. I don't remember doing a single thing on my own. Everything I did that day was because I was asked by one of the crew to do it for the camera. The film crews became obsessed with the fact I had brought a guitar with me.
They sent me outside to play the guitar in the street, they asked me to go outside again to film me entering the building with the "guitar", they had me strumming in the waiting room, every interview was done with my arm around the guitar, those weird moments in these shows where you seem to be in a studio with the camera circling you while you gurn at the camera was done with the guitar strapped to my back, whereupon I would swing it into playing position and turn to the camera again when the camera reached a certain position. They even had me standing in front of David Grindrod (Apparently some big shot casting director) with the guitar strapped to my back. I would NEVER have done this unless the TV crew asked me to do it.
It sounds like I'm complaining here, but I'm only pointing out how much of a "reality" show this is not. As a matter of fact I had a lot of fun with the film crew doing all of this stuff. Even though I know that if the production decide to show me in the programme I'm going to look like an idiot. On the day I was having too much fun to care.
The fun ended however when I stepped in front of David Grindrod. I was turned down to progress and I have to tell you, it hurt. This was incredibly unexpected, I knew going into this it was going to be a long shot anyway, yet here I was with my heart crushed at the rejection I knew would be most likely anyway. I found myself struggling to make a polite farewell due to the crushing emotion I was going through. I believed I managed to thank him for the consideration and wished him luck (although I can't be sure as most of my memory of that moment was the effect of the rejection). So I left the room acknowledging the crew I passed on my way out and stepped out of the door with more cameras. I was being asked questions about how I felt about what had happened etc. finding it incredibly difficult to answer them.
The worst part however was leaving the building. Whether it's going to be shown on TV or not it is documented on film where I put my scarf and coat on, packing up the guitar and doing the "walk of shame" away from the premises. I have to say, that felt really, really bad. I just wanted to get the hell out of there, but the process of my leaving while being filmed seemed to take forever. All the while trying to keep my chin up the whole time.
I'm over it now anyway and this blog is mainly to gain closure on the matter. I am however still a bit miffed at this David Grinrod person. When we were speaking to each other he asked me to take my hands out of my pockets. I was too hyped up to think anything of it at the time, but afterwards I thought to myself "What kind of a toe-rag tells a grown man to take his hands out of his pockets during a conversation?" Don't get me wrong I would understand if it was during the performance of my piece, but we were only speaking to each other. If I had my senses about me, and if that was anybody else other than him he or she would be told to shove a very large object up that bit in between his or her butt cheeks. Another thing he said that, while not really insulting this time but absolutely baffling to me was when he explained why I was rejected. Now I'm quoting as best as memory serves here so if I got it wrong I apologise. He said "There's a voice in there but there's something in it that I can't work with". Again I was not in the condition to ask this at the time but afterwards I had to wonder "What the hell is that supposed to mean anyway?" I don't often watch these kind of shows, but when I am watching the likes of the X-Factor and one of the judges rattles out something like that, I automatically think he or she is saying something like that based purely on the fact they haven't a clue what they're talking about. Now being this big shot casting director I'll accept that he probably did know what he was talking about, I just wish he would explain what that was.
Well there you go, rant over. I'll do the Primark story on another post as this particular story is longer than I thought it would be. In fact I'm going to start writing it straight after I post this one.
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